马来西亚历史简介(搞笑版)：
Brief History about Malaysia (in Humour sense):
1）马六甲王朝.Empire of Melaka
拜先生从巴冷邦溜狗溜到马六甲，有只鼠鹿欺负他的狗狗。
Parameswara took a stroll with his dogs all the way from Sumatra to Melaka
(Peninsula), end up his dog got bullied by a mouse deer .
为了帮他的狗狗报仇，他把马六甲占领了下来。
For revenge on behalf of his doggie, he took the land as his country and named Melaka.
2）殖民时期. Colonial period
葡萄牙：我要香料！。。。他们占领了马来西亚。
Portugal (Afonso de Albuquerque): We want spices! ..... They occupied Melaka
荷兰：我要锡米！。。。同上
Netherland (Willemson Kaatokoe) : We want pewter! ......same as above.
英国也占领了马来西亚，为什么？
Great Britain did the same thing, but why?
英国：我也不知道，看到人家抢我不是也来抢一份咯！
Great Britain (George Canning): We don’t why we did it , when the others did it , why don’t we?
3）第二次世界大战. World War II (Japanese Forced Occupation Period)
日本人起脚车打着下来。。。
Japanese troops took us down from south with bicycle.
泰国：不要打我，我让路给你们过。
Thailand: I will give way! Please don’t occupy us!
结果。。。你讲呢？
End result, Picture explained all.
4）马来亚独立 1957年.Malaya Independence day 1957
东姑带领人到英国谈判
Tunku Abdul Rahman took his kaki lead his parliament members to Great Britain to pueh to negotiate.
东姑：我们要独立！你都不理我们的！又没有打电话，又没有寄短讯，电邮也没一封！我们分手吧！
Tunku: We want independance ! Since you heck care me don’t give a damn about me, no phone call ,no sms , not even a email!! , Let us just brake up!
英国：好吧！那我祝你幸福咯！
Great Britain: Then good, I wish you all the best then!
东姑心想：这么快？害我准备了十面《分手的理由》只用了一句。。。
Tunku(in heart): It happened so drastic ? damn it! I prepared 10 pages of ' reasons for breaking up' .....
5）马来西亚成立与拆伙. The united of Malaya and separation of Singapore from Malaysia.
木薯，狗肉，鸡蛋，丢进一个锅里，三碗水煲成一碗水，用李光耀的眼泪当调味料，再把鸡蛋拿回出来。。。一碗马来西亚汤便煮好了！
Cassava (ubi keledek) , dog and egg cook in a pot , stew to thick sauce.
In between , with the tears of Lee Kuan Yew , the egg is withdrawn.
That’s all for a Malaysia recipe.
6）领导人功绩. Our Leader.
东姑 1957-1970，13年
1st Prime Minister for 13 years
Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra Alhaj Ibni Almarhum Sultan Abdul Hamid Halimshah
在独立广场喧哗
Tunku Abdul Rahman proclaiming Malayan independence.
东姑：Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!
Tunku : ¬Independence ! Independence ! Independence !
平民甲：现在才几点啊！吵死了！不用睡觉啊？！
Tom, Dick and Harry : What is the time now ! §$%/%&/ We need some sleep!
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拉萨 1970-1976，6年
Tun Abdul Razak b. Hussein.
2nd Prime Minister for 6 years
Father of Development
摆平五一三苏州屎
Sucessfully controlled 13 May Riot .
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胡先翁 1976-1981，5年
3rd Prime Minister for 5 years
Tun Hussein Bin Dato’ Onn
团结人民
Hardwork for country’s unity
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马哈迪 1981-2003，22年
Tun Dr. Mahathir Bin Mohamad .
4th Prime Minister for 22 years
发现副首相安华先生的癖好
Discovered Former Deputy Prime Minister’s (Anwar) secret
马哈迪：我知道你的秘密！~~
Mahathir : I know what you did last summer ( noted : no season in Malaysia)
安华：啊？！你怎么知道我是用拇指挖鼻屎的？
Anwar : ah ? How did you know that I use my thumb for nose digging? neh neh neh neh neh neh~~
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阿都拉 2003-现在
Yang Amat Berhormat Dato' Seri Abdullah bin Haji Ahmad Badawi
Now - 5th Prime Minister
很爱他的妻子
In love with his beloved wife
2005年10月20 日 妻子恩顿逝世
20. October 2005 The death of his beloved wife, Endon Mahmood
2006年3月7日 我要再婚？谣言来的啦！~~
7 March 2006 I want to remarried ? It MUST be a rumor!
2006年6月9日 和珍妮结婚
6.June 2006 married with Jeanne Abdullah (former name: Jeanne Danker)
7）法律面前人人平等. Equal Rights Amendment
言论自由：Freedom of speech
“如果你没办法打赢强奸犯，索性躺下好好享受它。”
"If you cannot fight rape, better lay down and enjoy it." - Haji Roselan Johar Mohamed (Kota Kinabalu Umno pro tem head, Barisan Nasional)
“马来人会杀华人，华人会杀马来人，印度人会杀全部人。”
"Malays will kill Chinese, Chinese will kill Malays, Indians will kill everybody else." - Tengku Adnan (Tourism Minister, Barisan Nasional )
都没问题，但是篡改国歌除外。 no problem to say these, but not altering the National Anthem to a rap song. Find out why -here
8) 社会治安：National Security
强奸案，抢劫案，偷窃案，车祸，数以万计。。。
Rape, Robbery, Stealing , Accidents ,countless. example here
首相的羊还被偷。。。
The goats from Prime Minister were even stolen!!
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如果国家能安定繁荣，不民主又如何？<引用：黄明志>
If one nation can be prosperous and safe, why do we still need democracy and freedom of speech? (Quote from namewee )
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